I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
