this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
