haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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