porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
