I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
