idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Found the puke drawer
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
