I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
