How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
