when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize