What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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