I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize