just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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