Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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