I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize