i don't like sucking hair
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
