Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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