1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
