Non-Jews are for practice
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
