Moan for me like Helen Keller
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
