She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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