Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
