I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
