Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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