My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize