How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize