broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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