I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
