yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
