when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
