True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
