Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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