the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
