32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
