Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
