Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
