we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
