I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
