Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You were trust falling into bushes
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
