I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
