on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
