that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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