So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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