I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
