I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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