He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
