Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
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