Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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