and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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