just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
