Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You're so nebulous sometimes
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
