I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
