they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
