I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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