Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
