Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
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