singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize