I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
