Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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