It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
