i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
